Are you a good mate for your partner? Answer yes or no to the following questions to find out.
Make sure to write down your responses. At the end, you’ll find out how to score your answers.
- Forget to thank my partner when they do something nice for me?
- Ignore my partner’s calls if I don’t feel like talking?
- Get jealous when my partner makes a new friend?
- Have trouble making time to listen to my partner when something is bothering them?
- Discourage my partner from trying something new like joining a club?
- Call, text or drive by my partner’s house a lot?
- Get upset when my partner wants to hang out with their friends or family?
- Make fun of my partner or call them names?
- Criticize my partner for their taste in music or clothing?
- Make fun of my partner’s appearance?
- Accuse my partner of flirting or cheating even if I’m not sure that’s what happened?
- Take out my frustrations on my partner, like snapping at them or giving them attitude?
- Throw things if I’m mad at my partner or do things like hit walls or drive dangerously?
- Read my partner’s texts or go through their personal things, like their wallet or purse?
- Tell my partner they are the reason for my bad mood even if they aren’t?
- Try to make my partner feel guilty about things they have no control over?
- Sometimes say things to my partner knowing that they are hurtful?
- Make my partner feel bad about something nice they did for me that I didn’t like, even though I know they tried their best?
- Talk down to or embarrass my partner in front of others?
- Have sex with my partner even if I think they don’t want to go that far?
Scoring – So Are You A Mate?
Give yourself one point for every “Yes” you answered to questions one through four and five points for all “Yes” answers to numbers 5-20. Don’t give yourself any points for any “No” answers.
Now that you’re finished and have your score, the next step is to find out what it means. Simply take your total score and see which of the categories below apply to you.
Score: 0 Points
If you got zero points, congratulations! You make a good boyfriend/girlfriend! It sounds like you’re very mindful of your actions and respectful of your partner’s feelings — these are the building blocks of a healthy relationship. Keeping things on a good track takes work, so stay with it! As long as you and your partner continue like this, your relationship should grow in a healthy direction.
Score: 1-2 Points
If you scored one or two points, there may be a couple of things in your relationship that could use a little attention. Nobody is perfect, but it is important to be mindful of your actions and try to avoid hurting your partner. Remember, communication is key to building a healthy relationship!
Score: 3-4 Points
If you scored three or four points, it’s possible that some of your actions may hurt your partner and relationship. While the behaviors may not be abusive, they can worsen over time if you don’t change.
Score: 5 Points or More
If you scored five or more points, some of your actions may be abusive. You may not realize it, but these behaviors are damaging. The first step to improving your relationship is becoming aware of your unhealthy actions and admitting they are wrong. It’s important to take responsibility for the problem and get help to end it.